When we feel our needs are not met by our partner, rage becomes the driving force in our relationship

9 Ways Anger Manifests In Relationships

Rage and anger in relationships can manifest in many ways. Your angry partner may be critical of everything you do, correcting you on many small matters. The kitchen isn’t clean enough, the door was left open, the soup was too cold and not salty enough, you drive on the clutch, you parked too far from the curb…. the list goes on. Soon you have lost all your confidence in yourself.

Bad temperedness is another sign of anger, she always wakes up grumpy and it’s hard to get a smile, all answers are grunts and there is no eye contact. You go to work in the morning under a cloud. Not a good start to the day.

Or your partner avoids you. While you are watching television, your partner is on the computer. You no longer go to bed at the same time, or share meals. You are spending less and less time in the same room. Your partner is more keen on having a beer and going to the pub with friends than in your relationship. You sense the withdrawal.

Being emotionally cold and not extending any warmth is an effective form of punishment. The house does not ring with laughter, there’s no fun and you don’t get any hugs and kisses. Now you are living in a freezer.

Or your partner is no longer helpful. You are struggling to drag large packets of groceries out of the car, up the stairs and into the kitchen and your partner doesn’t help, he just stands there and watches you. Once he could not do enough for you, but now he goes into hiding when anything needs doing and is rarely trying to make life easier for you. You are on your own.
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Effective Anger Management in Marriage begins with recognizing how difficult emotions usually have their origins in our childhood.

The source of our anger and rage lies in our childhood relationship with our parents. Marriage is just our vehicle to express these feelings: it is the stage on which we act out our old and hidden anger. When you and your partner fight many futile battles over minor issues that never get resolve, it means you have latent anger that keeps on surfacing, always looking for a new outlet and a new place to be vented.

To understand anger we need to go back to the day you were born. Your very first experience after birth is to be held in your mother’s soft, warm and loving arms as you suckle on her smooth breast. She looks down at you and smiles adoringly - this is the birth of love in your life. You are bonding with your mom and she is bonding with you. For the first few years of your life your mom will do her best to keep you bonded to her like this. She instinctively wants to keep you comfortable and happy: your tummy is always full, she cuddles, strokes, tickles and entertains you, plays with you, makes sure you sleep enough. Later on she teaches you to master many new and exciting skills, like walking and talking. She teaches you to find excitement and explore the unknown, to have fun. Soon you get used to having your mom at your beck and call. She never lets you down. She is always there to comfort and soothe away your pains and worries. She is your rock.

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